Control is a human characteristic. We are always trying to control our lives and the things around us to suit our circumstances. Maybe it is an image we try to project. If we look at the design of our homes, perhaps they reflect the aspirational ideas that we try to give off. In other words, if we want to be noticed or perceived as glamorous, then we surround our homes with things that give off that sort of impression, like expensive vases or designer stuff. The way we dress is a way of control over the environment too. We are trying to impose an impression onto passers-by and influence what they think of us. Ever been on public transport and encountered people who just want to talk loudly. It is a form of control, albeit in a slightly lower form, in the guise of influence. Those that do so frequently want others to listen in on their conversation, to give the idea that their lives were so exciting and full of detail, influencing our impressions of them. Unfortunately, the impression we form of them is of anti-social idiots, even as they revel in the attention.
If you encounter some one like that, what do you do? If you see it from a control over of view, it is trying to dominate that social landscape. And your best form of defence is to demonstrate that they have not been successful. If someone is seeking attention, don’t just passively sit and listen to them drone on and on in their attempt at attention, for passiveness is meekness. Actively yawn at them is what is often suggested – it is a more verbal show that you are not interested!
Control sounds like a bad word, but it is not necessarily so. If we establish control over our lives, we will be satisfied and have a sense of self-assurance. It has been said that perhaps we should teach young children to control various aspects of their lives so they grow up to be self-assured, positive individuals. One way to do so is to involve them in activities that teach these skills, such as piano lessons. Learning the piano involves six or seven different skills, reading music, translating the dots into physical actions, and using the ear to refine what is heard as an additional layer control over the hands. According to the Piano Teachers N4 website, learning to handle these skills simultaneously, instead of focussing on one skill seven times, translates into a multi-tasking ability that helps in life.
Summary: Control isn’t bad – and you can develop control through various activities. Give it a shot!